Focus on Acceptance as Much as Learning

I know when your child is struggling with their learning we (the mama, the parent) tend to focus on learning only, because we want to fix the struggle!  I get that!  But there's other things we need to offer our child as well!

(That's just as important... perhaps, more important!)

For your child to really accept who they are and how they learn -- they need to feel your acceptance of them, so they can truly accept themselves. 

Acceptance seems like a pretty simple word, but it's not. 

In Brene Brown's book Daring Greatly, she offers some examples of when kids feel they don't belong (but consider these examples from the point of acceptance).

Here are some examples: 

"Not living up to your parents expectations.
Not being as smart as your parents.
Not being as good at the same things as your parents were good at.
Your parents not liking you for who you are or what you like to do. " 

When you read the list above, can you see how a child that learns differently may feel like they're not accepted?

I can. 

And of course, we are not doing this knowingly but the struggles your child is dealing with can lead to frustration -- and the frustration can lead to feeling not accepted. 

How about when your trying to help your child learn a certain math skill and you are frustrated because you just don't understand how they can't add 2+2. You might be thinking, "Are they making this up? Are they not trying hard enough? You and your child end up frustrated and in tears.  

But as you struggle to complete their homework,  you may also have a child that is feeling like they are not living up to your expectations, or that they are not as good as you, or as smart as you. 

Supporting your child at home can be tricky (I know!) but we need to not only focus on learning but how we approach supporting our children so they can accept who they are and HOW they learn! 

Let's focus on acceptance as much as learning by: 

1. Let your child tell you what is hard about their homework or school work.

Share with them something that you find hard to do and let them know we all have strengths and weaknesses. But really listen to what they have to say.

2. Let your child know you are here for them. 

Tell your child that you will work together to get their homework done (and this is not cheating!) Your child will do the parts they can and you will support where needed. (You are now figuring out what they need to learn....nice!) 

3. Connect with your child. 

Figure out how you can bring their interests into their homework they have to do -- some homework is just plain 'boring' so you gotta 'spice it up' and get them engaged in the work but more importantly it will offer you a way to connect with your child through their interests! 

I would love to support YOU (Mama).  Review my 'Less Frustration and More Learning" sheet by signing up for a copy at the top of your screen.  You can do this!! 



Susan SchenkComment