Why do I focus on Moms when my passion is to help kids?
Why do I focus on Moms when my passion is to support children and their learning? Because through Moms I can help kids step into their way of learning.
Let me explain.
First of all, Moms (and Dads, of course) hold a powerful position which allows their child to embrace how they learn and ultimately 'who they are'.
I can say this (now) because it was only after I wrote my book did I really grasp this concept of how powerful we are as Parents. It highlighted that I really held the keys to how my kids would start to see themselves. I was their role model. If I did not own my story and accept who I was -- how could my children accept themselves?
Yup, owning my story was HARD. But how could I talk the talk, if I didn't walk the walk?
Did I accept how I learned? No. Did I want my kids to accept their way of learning? Yes.
Welllll...you can see that I had a problem here...things were not matching up. Say one thing.....think another.
I could have 'told' my kids they were smart and that they should accept themselves but my words would have been like putting water in a bucket that had a hole. No real 'weight' behind that message as they would have 'seen' right through that. (don't you love when your kids can see right through you)
So instead of just talking ...I started walking. It was time to own my story. To come to terms with my learning so they could really come to terms with their learning.
Now was this easy? No I had some denial to overcome. I had shoved the shame and pain of learning differently down so far that I almost convinced myself I could learn like anyone else. I had a degree. I....I ....I...struggled to read and write (wham....the real story came to the surface)
It didn't feel too good. In fact, my body responded with anxiety. It was like my body knew what my mind had rejected. The pain of learning differently and what came with that when I really didn't understand myself. But I did understand myself now and I could offer that understanding to my kids. They didn't need to feel the shame if they understood what it was and what they needed to learn. The anxiety remained but it didn't stop me from pushing through to own my whole story. The real story. I was gonna do this for them. I was gonna let them know they were smart and that they had rights to learn the way they did and this did not define their intelligence or what they would become.
I was owning my story for the first time. I was accepting all of me. So I could help my kids accept all of themselves.
(And this is not just about learning (just in case you are wondering) it's about accepting every part of ourselves so we can offer this to our children.)
I dealt with the feelings that were part of my past, present and future. It started with me. And by doing this, I could see what I need to do next. I wasn't caught up in what others could do but what I needed to do. What I needed to share with my children.
So one of the first steps to really helping your child -- is to look at yourself first.
Not just a quick peek either...because if we say it fast ....do you accept you? We might say oh yeah! But are you hiding anything from others. Do you talk to yourself in a negative way when you can't do something you 'think you should be able to do' (by the way that might be your area of weakness...and that's okay if you're not good at that because your child needs to hear this too)
To help you get clear on where you are and what your child needs to learn in a way that fits them -- start with my Invincible Mama Program. The reflective questions will guide you through the steps to create a solid foundation so you can really support your child and their learning.
Just know you are a powerful model in your child's life and your support is needed. That's why I focus on parents to help children succeed with their learning -- they can when they have a supportive team around them.