What keeps us stuck? It's interesting to look at how we set up our own barriers. I have to admit I've been watching some great information on money lately and what is really catching my attention is the fact that the ideas around money are very similar to what we have to face when we are dealing with learning issues with our child or children. The three issues covered by Kate Northrup are listed below but how I view them in terms of helping our kids that learn differently are listed under each area!
Oh how we love to rationalize that things will improve over time -- without us having to really look at what our part is when it comes to helping our child learn. We avoid really looking deep into what our children are doing at school and in terms of their learning. I know. It's hard. I get it.
I didn't want to really face it either. I just wanted everything to work out. I wanted my child to go to school and then I could go to work.
We wait for others to offer us suggestions. But really, we just need to look at the basics to start with. Your child's reading. Writing. Math.
But we wait. We avoid the concerns that are whispering to us.
We don't want to face that our child needs more. Not because we don't care. But because we don't want them to face this struggle. We don't want our child to struggle at all. So we avoid what could be....what might be there.
With the stigma and shame that still exists with learning differently, it's hard to step up and really look at what's going on. Because to admit your child might be struggling means you have to walk a path you have never walked down before.
Or it means you have to walk a path you told yourself you would never revisit again (the pain and shame of your own learning).
But it's time to step up and really look at what's going on with your child's learning. It's worth it. Believe me.
2. I Can't Afford It.
Yes, I do say this too -- but the fact is we can afford what we need.
We can pay for gas for the vehicle or the internet or cable. We may even pay for some extras such as after school activities, vacations, etc. The fact is, most of the time we are making choices about where we spend our money.
And spending money on figuring out how your child learns and what they need to feel good about themselves, is an investment that will definitely be worth it and will offer you a return like no other.
I know money is important but as I listened to the message on money, I could see how we (and yes, me) use it as a way of staying stuck.
We tend to pay for things when we reach a painful point. When our child no longer wants to go to school. Or their behaviour is getting in the way. We don't always want to invest in the NOW but we wait for the later. But at what cost?
Now to add a twist on things. I have watched parents pay for services but they are still not sure what this support will really offer. They are hoping others will figure it out and this leaves them throwing money randomly in the air with little results.
It really comes down to a plan and knowing what your child needs and how to offer the right supports. And you just happen to be the 'team-leader!'
3. Respect Learning.
Hmmm, what does that mean? Well, it means we have to respect what learning truly offers our child. As much as I talk about tapping into your child's strengths and respecting their abilities, I also know that your child needs to master learning (in terms of reading and writing and math) in order to feel confident in themselves and their learning abilities. And this can be done by helping them figure out how they learn -- which may be done in a slightly different way than others -- and that's ok!
When I talk about respecting learning, I'm talking about learning not grades (just to keep that clear). Your child's performance may not reflect their abilities and they need to know that too!
Don't tell your child that learning is not important. Because it is. And I have no doubt that your child wants to know how they can learn the best, so they can move forward and feel good about themselves.
If you are 'feeling' or facing some of these barriers, I would love to hear from you. Leave a comment below.