So the professional role was working out well. The ability to help kids through my perspective and training as an Occupational Therapist was great. But a funny thing happens when you become a parent: your world turns 360 degrees and you revisit the past, while living in the moment... and you also quickly move to the future.
This little person is a part of you. You hope they have only your strengths and not your weaknesses. You watch them grow and soon they are ready for school. You wonder if this will be a place of dread, or will they walk through education without any difficulties.
I’m afraid that dread I felt as a child continued into my household with my own kids. Not wanting to sleep as they finally, at the end of the day, were involved in activities they enjoyed. The concerns of what the next day at school would hold, would keep them up. I would have to help them sleep -- back rubs, stories or just lying quietly with them until the concerns faded from their minds.
The mornings seemed like a push-and-pull session--you know what it is like--you would finally get your child out of bed. They looked tired from their lack of sleep or the concerns they had on their minds but you know they had to go to school to learn. Right? You have pressure of what they had to do and what you had to do on that day and it all clashes at 8 a.m. in the morning. There were days that they would make it to school successfully, and other days they wouldn’t.
Did I get upset as a parent? Yes. I’m a parent that tries to make the same decisions as other parents. Push them through and they will be okay. I have to get other work done...you know the drill! And even though I understand and want to redo what is happening or wish that they didn’t have to deal with the same things I did--they do. This makes me angry at me and at the situation which sadly enough appears as if I am angry at them. The only positive I have to look at is the progress that my older children have made and I continue to support, pray and step back to reanalyze where we are at.