7 Ways to Support Your Child When School is Hard

when school is hard

School is starting soon or may it already has for you.  If your child is not excited about returning to school and homework is adding frustration to evening time together I would love to offer you my "7 Ways to Support your Child when School is Hard" tips. 

Just click on the button below to download the sheet and give it a read! (no email required) 

You will find that these are not your typical learning tips as they come from my personal learning experiences and what I have learned as a Mom.  

Just remember you've got this.  You just need support to help you move forward. Your child is truly blessed to have you as a Mom (or Dad) as you are here looking for ways to support them.  And I hope my tips will also help you along your journey.

Let me know what tips helped you by commenting below.  

Why do I focus on Moms when my passion is to help kids?

passion to work with YOU to support your child

Why do I focus on Moms when my passion is to support children and their learning?  Because through Moms I can help kids step into their way of learning.  

Let me explain.  

First of all,  Moms (and Dads, of course) hold a powerful position which allows their child to embrace how they learn and ultimately 'who they are'. 

I can say this (now) because it was only after I wrote my book did I really grasp this concept of how powerful we are as Parents.  It highlighted that I really held the keys to how my kids would start to see themselves.  I was their role model.  If I did not own my story and accept who I was -- how could my children accept themselves? 

Yup, owning my story was HARD.  But how could I talk the talk, if I didn't walk the walk?

Did I accept how I learned? No.  Did I want my kids to accept their way of learning? Yes.  

Welllll...you can see that I had a problem here...things were not matching up.  Say one thing.....think another.  

I could have 'told' my kids they were smart and that they should accept themselves but my words would have been like putting water in a bucket that had a hole.  No real 'weight' behind that message as they would have 'seen' right through that. (don't you love when your kids can see right through you)  

So instead of just talking ...I started walking.  It was time to own my story. To come to terms with my learning so they could really come to terms with their learning.  

Now was this easy?  No I had some denial to overcome.  I had shoved the shame and pain of learning differently down so far that I almost convinced myself I could learn like anyone else. I had a degree.  I....I ....I...struggled to read and write (wham....the real story came to the surface) 

It didn't feel too good.  In fact, my body responded with anxiety.  It was like my body knew what my mind had rejected.  The pain of learning differently and what came with that when I really didn't understand myself.  But I did understand myself now and I could offer that understanding to my kids.  They didn't need to feel the shame if they understood what it was and what they needed to learn.  The anxiety remained but it didn't stop me from pushing through to own my whole story.  The real story.  I was gonna do this for them.  I was gonna let them know they were smart and that they had rights to learn the way they did and this did not define their intelligence or what they would become.  

I was owning my story for the first time.  I was accepting all of me.  So I could help my kids accept all of themselves.  

(And this is not just about learning (just in case you are wondering) it's about accepting every part of ourselves so we can offer this to our children.) 


I dealt with the feelings that were part of my past, present and future.  It started with me.   And by doing this, I could see what I need to do next.  I wasn't caught up in what others could do but what I needed to do.  What I needed to share with my children. 

So one of the first steps to really helping your child -- is to look at yourself first.  

Not just a quick peek either...because if we say it fast ....do you accept you?  We might say oh yeah!  But are you hiding anything from others.  Do you talk to yourself in a negative way when you can't do something you 'think you should be able to do' (by the way that might be your area of weakness...and that's okay if you're not good at that because your child needs to hear this too) 
 

To help you get clear on where you are and what your child needs to learn in a way that fits them -- start with my Invincible Mama Program.  The reflective questions will guide you through the steps to create a solid foundation so you can really support your child and their learning.  

Just know you are a powerful model in your child's life and your support is needed.  That's why I focus on parents to help children succeed with their learning -- they can when they have a supportive team around them.  

US against THEM

Do you ever feel like you are against 'THEM'?  

The people that don't understand learning differences.  

The people that focus only on your child's difficulties instead of all the incredible things they can do.

The people that define where your child will be in the future.

The people that put your child in a box and place limits on them.

So really 'THEM' are the people that don't understand.  

They have not lived with a learning difference.

They may be trained professionals that focus on identifying your child's 'difficulties' and then let you know what they are. They may even place your child in the 'special box' (which of course doesn't make anyone feel very special). 



So US would be you, me, your child. Right? 

But are we AGAINST them?  



Maybe you are.  

Maybe it's not going the way you want, and you are frustrated because you want to help your child.  I get it. 

I really really get it!! 

Being against others leaves people hurt, confused, resistance, and angry.  AND...It leaves you drained and mostly, it takes the focus away from helping your child move forward. 

I know this sounds crazy.  You are 'fighting' for support at school, but you are taking the focus away from your child?!?  


Let me explain. 

I've been there.  So I speak from experience.  

I was there as the professional -- the one trying to help others get what they needed in school for children to succeed with their learning.  

I watched some parents fight so hard ...but get nowhere.  And the sad part was -- their child wasn't progressing either.  

When I was supporting my children's learning needs, I asked myself: what was I gonna do? Was I gonna 'fight' and 'make' people see what I saw?  Was I gonna 'make' the system' get it right?

I could of but after watching other parents and seeing what I came up 'against' as a professional -- paperwork, delays, ineffective equipment, lack of understanding and training. I knew the answer.

I WAS GONNA DO THIS DIFFERENTLY.  
I WAS GONNA FOCUS ON MY CHILDREN AND NOT THE SYSTEM.  

At the time I didn't know what the results would be (honestly), but I was willing to give it a try.  

Now years later I can tell you where we landed: 

  • School staff wondering how a child with an IEP could be in advanced high school courses with honors each year.  
  • School staff wanting to eliminate an IEP because my child was doing well now (the answer was no she's doing well because of the IEP and her hard work along with everyone else's hard work) 
  • Requiring limited accommodations as their skills improved and how they use their devices changed.  
  • They have a voice for what was needed for them -- given the class and the activities.
  • And most importantly, they had an awareness that they were smart, capable and could define what they would become based on them -- not others.

I tell you this not to brag but to let you know that for the most part being against THEM was not part of my approach.  

Empowering my children and giving them the tools to help them learn was my approach. 

Did that mean I never encountered barriers? No.  I did.  All.  The.  Time.  But I came back and talked to my children about the obstacles and what they meant.  I kept the focus on US and what we could control.  

We talked about what was important, how did they learn, what did they need, how would we deal with the barrier or problems in front of us?  

From there, we worked on building the best possible relationship with the school staff.  

Yes, even when they didn't understand. 

You don't have to be friends with all teachers, but you can work with them. 

You can walk into their classroom with a sense of 'let's work together' vs. 'what haven't you done for my child.' (Yes, most people can pick up on this body language)  

If you find there's some resistance -- don't get upset -- lean into it.  What can you do to help your child? Then what can you do to bring this back to the classroom?

Stay focused on your child and what they need and walk them through the resistance and empower them!  

When you take these steps -- people notice!  

People see the results in your children -- just like they saw the results in mine.  

How could a child with an IEP get A's -- because they are supposed to.

Did I fight to make this fact known - no - WE showed them.  

I believe the system will change from the inside-out.  You focus on your child the most and the system less, and OUR children will show them what is needed.   

You can be empowered -- and you can empower your child.

Susan